April Update

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April was a quiet month. We took a few trips to Gainesville, GA and found this park. It is beautiful with a playground as well as a wooded area and a creek that runs through. I finally visited Buford with my SIL Sheena. They have a fantastic mall there, for sure, but it took almost four hours to make our way through it!

We visited the goats on the roof a few times and Lorelei still did not like them. She also had issues with this huge bear statue and continued to yell at it and cry while we were near it. The last time we went Jason and I were able to play a game of checkers while my mom played with the kiddos. Checker is such an interesting game, right? Are you offensive or defensive? What is your strategy? If it looks like you are going to lose (like when you are cornered by 3 “kinged” checkers)do you give up? Maybe during interviews interviewees should challenge the potential coworkers to a game of checkers? This would replace the, “if you were an animal what kind of animal would you be?” question.

Towards the end of the month we took a visit out to the campsite Jason’s parents have rented for their camper for the season. It is absolutely beautiful out there and we look forward to visiting more and going canoeing and swimming when it gets hot enough for it.

Lorelei is learning to climb, but once she gets up on something she just stands there and cries because she’s up higher and doesn’t know what to do. I may have to get two stools for when we are baking in the kitchen. We registered Nora for Kindergarten in the Fall. She is so ready and I’m glad we waited because they changed the curriculum this year and the classes were extremely full, so it would have been crazy to start her “early”. Psh.

Spring is in full swing and with it poison ivy. We discovered a patch on the hill near our house and as you can see, Nora played in it and then gave it to Noah. We’ve got it taken care of, but more continues to be found throughout the yard. I am getting the feeling that the residents before us NEVER went outside.

We spent a lot of time with family this month which I enjoyed immensely. I love seeing the kids with their aunts and playing with their cousins too. The kids are enjoying the weather and we continue to spend a lot of time on our porch. I’ve been doing alot of creative activities which I document at mamabluebird. I am really enjoying the new blog and work hard to improve my skills with it on an almost daily basis. It keeps my mind going and my hands busy.

I’ve been accepted at Western Carolina University as a transfer student and I’ve been diligently working through the steps they set up in order to speak to a counselor and plan out my classes. It is nearby in Sylva. I hope to do four classes in the Fall, two online and two on campus, which means that Lorelei will go two days a week to morning daycare. Whew, more on that in the Fall, lol. :o)

See you in a month!

March Update

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Whew! March was certainly a FUN month!

We celebrated Lorelei’s birthday on that first Sunday. She was so cute in a purple vest I made for her! She was a bit overwhelmed by the crowd that is our family now, but she enjoyed herself!

Next it was my birthday and I am now well firmly placed in my 30′s. Jason’s sisters and significant others came over for drinks and board games and I have to say, it has been one of my best birthdays thus far. We had a hilarious time!

This month we watched Spring begin and went on our first hike, where we saw a bear cub! So cute! We also planted some beautiful (hopefully!) flowers and anticipate starting a garden very soon.

On the 27th we celebrated our second wedding anniversary. It seems like much longer, but in a good way. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel to have such an amazing husband! We left all three kiddos with Nana and Papa and set out for Asheville. We wandered the mall, Target and ate at Carrabba’s and it was worth the three hours round trip, ya’ll. Chicken Bryan! I took the rest home and ate it for lunch the next day! lol It was so nice to spend some quality time with just Jason and I together.

This month I’ve also realized that Lorelei is old enough and I am to a point in my stay-at-home period that I need to take some time for myself. One Saturday I went and saw Hunger Games at our adorable little theater. It was such a good movie! The following weekend, Noah had a boyscout thing and Jason took all three kids with him while I went to the library- by myself! I came home with an ARMLOAD of books! I didn’t go ANYWHERE NEAR the children’s section! lol It was wonderful! I found a couple of great books centered around Buddhism. One is called How to Expand Love by the Dalai Lama and another is titled Anger, Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh. Ha! I have no idea how to pronounce that. I’m really looking forward to diving into these. Jason has been so sweet to give me time to refresh away from the kiddos. For whatever reason it is hard to take the time, but the rewards of that time away benefit the whole family.

For Lorelei’s birthday we got her a sandbox. At first she was a little leery of it, but now she just plops right in and begins to munch and dig. :o) We spend quite a lot of time out on our porch playing and Noah and Nora ride their bikes or the razor. We enjoy the fresh smells of Spring and the warmer weather so much.

I have been thinking about going back to school in the fall. I’d like to get my B.A., but am seriously contemplating a degree in Web Design. I’ve been playing around with Gimp and really enjoy it.

I’ve also started another blog. It has been in the works for some time and just this month I let’er rip! I enjoy writing this different kind of blog and I will also continue my monthly updates here. If you’d like you can check it out here.

Until next month!

February Update

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I write this on what should be the very last day of February and coincidentally Lorelei’s birthday. One year old, I am amazed at how the time has flown! Lorelei now clearly has her own personality. She is starting to repeat words (somewhat) and I’m able to tell her “no” and amazingly she listens.

This month has been a month of sickness and events. Lorelei got sick with an ear infection and was not a happy camper. She is so irritable when she is sick! What a temper, I tell ya! She was hitting people and growling at them for simply being near her. That was a rough week. We went to the doctor’s office twice, once to be diagnosed and then again when the illness spread to her skin in a rash and over her top lip in bumps as well. We thought it might be the medicine, but soon after she began to feel better.

Noah and the rest of the second grade class put on a sort of play for UNICEF. They were raising money for water tablets in a village and raised enough for a water pump. He is very proud of that. He also had his Blue and Gold Ceremony where he received his Bear badge for cubscouts. And now I am sick and have been for a few days. Thankfully, I have an understanding husband and Nora and Lorelei have played very well without my intervention.

We will be having Lorelei’s party on Sunday with the family. I am so excited! I plan to make chocolate cupcakes and decorate the house. We almost have the living area all painted. Most likely that will get done on the Saturday before; not much gets done during the week around here.

We’ve gone a few times to Gainesville, GA which reminds us of Lakeland, including our beloved Publix. It doesn’t seem completely insane to drive three hours round trip for a Publix birthday cake, right?

Couple of pics from this month’s cell phone pictures for your viewing pleasure:

Lorelei, first an observer, before joining in to play at the park.

My sickly girl cuddling with her big sis

Painting, finally!

My Bear cubscout

Knitting

The birthday girl, only one sock on and one of Noah's Nerf darts in her hand.

Until next month!

January Update

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My goal is to come back to blogging in a year. I’ve chosen to take this time to journal more, instead of worrying about putting stuff up here more often than once a week. As I thought about what that first post might be like, I realized it would probably be a never-ending update of an entire year or a “pretend this never happened” starting where we left off debacle. My remedy is to do a monthly update of where I’m at and what I’m working on.

This month has already been very enlightening. I’ve started a Shutterfly Photobook to keep the memories of this year. It is a little bit like blogging, which cures the itch and calms my worries of not having documented this year.

At first, I was not very good at journaling. It’s like I had forgotten how, but by the end of this month it has become like second nature and has revealed many good things. I don’t know about you, but when I journal I write and write until suddenly what’s on the page is how I really feel and a solution to whatever has burdened my heart.

I mentioned that Noah has started counseling. He really likes it and so do I. He has someone who is unbiased and totally supportive and I have someone to talk with about step-parenting, chores, motherhood and anything else that comes up. It is such a relief to have the encouragement and wisdom from someone who doesn’t judge me and is only there to help our family.

I’ve always carried around with me some thoughts that are never helpful. The typical, I’m not good enough, I’m a horrible mother kind of thoughts. I mentioned this to Noah’s counselor and she was very encouraging and simply told me to repeat to myself that I am a good mom when I begin to feel that way. A kindof Mantra to carry around in my heart. I am a good mom. The funny thing is, that it worked. I may make mistakes and I may have regrets, but at the core, I am a good mom. Even if it were only partially true at the beginning, it is a belief that will encourage me to be a better mom. :o)

The kids got DSs for Christmas (*cough* from Patrick *cough*). Now, if you can remember, we got rid of the Wii a while ago (best decision ever) and I was seriously NOT excited about this gift, but I also knew they would love them and we would have to set rules and limits. It has actually been really good. Surprisingly! At first when trying to set limits, Noah would steal back his DS or steal Nora’s or hide it under his pillow to play at night, but we stayed consistent to our Family Rules and he is getting it. He knows that if he, for instance, turns the DS in at 730p (30 minutes before bedtime) and doesn’t steal it later, he can play it the next day- if his chores are done. Moderation! Responsibility! Happy mommy! Happy kids!

The deeper struggles that I have are taking a little longer to work out. Hey, everything can’t be solved in a month, right? Jason and I are reading a book, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman . It is more for couples who have been married for a long time and are having a little (or a lot!) of trouble, but it has us talking and learning, which I love. I’ve also read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and it is a really good book! The core value of the book is, “live like no one else, so that later you can live like no one else”. That may sound silly, but it sure makes driving a Kia everyday and purposefully having one car for the time being seem brilliant. We looked up our yearly credit report and went through the paperwork from closing Jason’s business, so now we have a clear perspective financially. We are learning to live within Jason’s paycheck and to save (still working on that last part, actually). There may be some changes to the hospital come June due to an integration of the IT department with another hospital, so we need to be prepared.

That’s where I’m at in all of this and continuing to journal and read. I’ve been researching chickens and gardening and we have Lorelei’s 1st birthday coming up, so I’ll see you at the end of February with another update.

Me and Baby Girl on our trip to Florida

Resolutions

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This last year to me was more of a ride the wave kind of year, rather than a purposeful year. We had a baby, closed a business, moved to another state and settled in. North Carolina feels like our home now.

On our recent trip to Florida to pick up the kids I noticed that we were both very tense the entire time we were there except for when we were checking out our old house and talking to a sweet neighbor. I loved our old house (well, loved who we were as a family there), but the rest of Lakeland, not so much. There are some not-so-good memories there and I realized that Franklin is a peaceful town and I have learned to love the quietness of our new home. I don’t really go out much, unless it’s to the library or grocery shopping and I like it that way.

The last few months of 2011 were spent in deep thought most of the time without any real need to share what I was thinking. I have posted here sporadically and really only to update those left behind in Florida. It is no longer a space for ponderings or sharing what I’ve learned in order to help others who might be going through the same thing. I write here and post for documentation only. I hope to one day transfer my blog to a blurb book or something to keep forever.

I’ve been thinking a lot about 2012. What does this year hold for us? What do I want to do, what do I want to work on within myself? I’ve started a list, some practical and some spiritual things. One thing I know for sure is that I will not be posting here. This year for me will be spent quietly. I will be journaling instead, keeping my thoughts to myself until I can talk them out with close friends or family. For whatever reason, I feel my work here is done. I’ve grown through my divorce, new marriage and new baby and become a healthier person. I do not feel I have any more to offer right now. I feel that this year will be a quiet work within and I am looking forward to it.

Of course, I will still be posting snippets and pictures on facebook for fun, so you can alway catch me there. Who knows, maybe next year I will resurface, hopefully with much to share. Thank you for reading all these years, my friends. :o)

Christmas 2011

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The kids went to their Dad’s on December 22nd, so it was just us and Lorelei for Christmas this year. It was very quiet in the house, but also neat to see what life would be like with only one child. (extremely boring and quiet, did I mention quiet?) We did nothing. Well, not nothing, we did things we couldn’t do with the other two here, like nap and watch scary movies during day, but other than that, we did nothing.

Christmas morning we opened presents with Lorelei. She liked the bows the best, but eventually warmed up to her presents. Here she is with her crazy bed hair.

We then went over to Jason’s parents house that afternoon for Christmas lasagna (so good!) and opening presents. I think this is my new favorite tradition. I remember as a child going over to my grandparents house to open presents with all of the family and going to Jason’s parent’s is very similar and fun. Here are a few pics.

Opening presents

The best present, Unicorn Meat!

Playing with her cousin Madison

Santa butt

A good time was had by all. :o)

December Knits

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December was spent knitting. I had decided to make something for Jason’s sisters and then I ended up making something for Brian (brother-in-law), my mom and my friend Misty. It was so very fun to extend myself and learn new techniques. It is wonderful having a knit shop right in town to be able to pick out the perfect yarn or ask a question or five.

I did not, however, get very many pictures of the final product. :/ I have a few, though, so that may satisfy your curiosity.

This is the hurricane hat found here. I found most of the other patterns on Ravelry, a great resource for knitters. With the owl mitts I knit for Amber I knit my very first cables which turned out to be very fun. I look forward to doing more cabling. I then worked on a collared cowl for Misty in secret. We usually talk knits and work out patterns together, but I couldn’t say anything and it was SO HARD not to!

One of the patterns called for “light blocking” which is basically washing the knits and then laying them out on a towel and pinning them in place to dry a certain way. You can’t just throw your knits in the washer, you need a special soap and you have to be very gentle, so Nora and I filled a bowl with water and soaked the knits for 10 minutes each and then gently squished out the water, laid and pinned them. I did get pics of that!

These mitts were for Sheena. I just love the colors and the whimsical swirls. They were my first fingerless mitts and I did not mess up once! A first! lol

Here are the owl mitts. The pattern is on Ravelry, Owl Mitts by Sandra Ruppert. They tended to roll into themselves, so it helped to block and pin them. I then had Jason sew on buttons for eyes (LHM, I cannot do buttons!). Again, very cute.

The striped mitts at the top are the Gradient Mitts by Lee Meredith on Ravelry. I totally changed this pattern. I changed the gauge of the yarn using only one strand instead of three and also the number of rows for each, well, row. I was very worried that they wouldn’t turn out, but they did. :o)
This pattern used short rows, which is turning the work mid row and knitting back and forth. It turned out beautifully and looks much better on Misty, but here is a pic.

Unfortunately I didn’t get a pic of the caponcho I made for my mom, but the pattern is on Ravelry, Rosa’s Caponcho by Emma Fassio. I used bulky yarn, US 11 and plan on knitting just the cowl part for myself. It was very warm and knit in a beautiful teal and natural brown. I almost kept it for myself! ;o)

Earlier this year I debated on continuing to knit. I’ve been knitting for almost three years, but I wasn’t good at it. I messed up a lot and had to start over at least three times per project which is NOT FUN, but I continued to learn basic techniques and started buying yarn for projects instead of buying yarn without a pattern and trying to “wing it” and magically (ha!) all that I learned and all those hours of practice finally came together and I finally feel confident in my craft. It is actually fun to knit again and still challenging (it will probably always be challenging, and with this cold weather and snow on the horizon there is a need to knit things for myself and my family. :o) I’m glad I kept at it and I hope the girls enjoy their knits!

So Close!

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I’m not sure if I’ve been this excited about Christmas in years!

I am happy:
-to be in North Carolina this year where the days are cold and the nights are freezing.

-to have decorated almost immediately after Thanksgiving and have been enjoying it since.

-to have been making and planning Christmas presents for those I love.

-to have been listening to or humming Christmas carols for weeks.

-to have been planning a trip to Florida just after Christmas to see my best friend and her family and enjoy my hometown again.

We will do Christmas and dinner with the Grebs and the very next morning we are off. I cannot wait! This is Lorelei’s first Christmas and she is -thisclose- to walking. She has taken a few steps between her daddy and I and it is too cute to watch her toddle.

Just a few days left!

Timber!

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One very windy day at our house a tree fell. I actually watched it happen from my porch. It was a small tree in terms of circumference, but also a very tall tree. It fell across the driveway and we had a little bit of a mess for a day or two. It got us thinking, what about the rest of the trees surrounding our house? What if they fall? I expressed this fear to Jason and he gave his dad a call and asked him to come over and have a look-see and perhaps use his chainsaw to cut a tree down if needed.
Well, the look-see became a yard day, became three yard days. It’s funny how that works. The first day Charley and I surveyed the yard and chose trees and bushes (Holly, so much Holly!) that needed to come out. We also agreed that the leaves needed to go. Charley is such an amazing guy that he set to work right away and even began to rake the leaves in the front yard. Jason and I would look at the yard and just be overwhelmed with the prospect of raking it and then there was the issue of what to do with the leaves once they were in a pile. This ain’t Lakeland, where they have yard days once a week and you aren’t allowed to bring the leaves to the “recycle center” either. So what? Burn them! Burn ALL the leaves!!
That first day broke the spell and it seemed doable. Charley said he would come back on Saturday and continue with the yard work with the help of Jason and Noah. That Saturday they set to work hauling branches to the burn pile and raking leaves on a small tarp and dragging them to the burn pile too. The plan worked and with a little help from the leaf blower to bring oxygen to the fire the leaves were gone in no time. It was a very productive day.
The front yard was pretty much taken care of that day which left the side and back yard to deal with the following weekend. Charley showed up and it was decided that he would concentrate on cutting down trees and cut he did! I dubbed him The Chainsaw Massacre-er he cut down so many trees, but boy did they need it. He cut down a couple of large trees, but he also cut down a lot of the smaller trees that were either dead or simply crowding the other trees and stealing their nutrients. The result was a LOT of branches on the ground, but a much cleaner view of the back yard. We also began raking the leaves in the backyard and they would burn, but the branches were too green to catch. We weren’t able to burn the branches and that has been left for another day. Yard Day 4 perhaps?

It already looks so much better and as Charley was cutting down trees and I was taking pictures, I was surprised at the realization that all of this began with a felled tree. We wanted to clean up the yard, but didn’t know where to begin and with the little amount of time that we have to do things, it sadly never became a priority. That is of course, until that windy day. I am grateful to God and the wind and wonder what other little things have happened to set big things in motion. I’m sure I could go back over my life and what seemed like a minor annoyance could very well have been a cataclysmic event set in motion. (Or a minor annoyance, who knows?) I may never see the reason or result of some things that happen in my like (or other’s lives), but I can appreciate this glimpse and take the time to be thankful; thankful for wind, a beautiful home, hardworking relatives and time to be annoyed. I am also thankful that there is work to be done. It seems we will never really be finished, but isn’t that the point?

Noah

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image
Taken at the grandparent’s house

How I love this boy! It has been three full years since his father and I have separated. He loves his daddy so much and is just like him. I see Patrick in him on a daily basis; in facial expressions, in silliness, and in his temper.

My hope was that once he was given stability and a good stable role model that he would calm down and things would “iron out” so to speak. He is more calm, but I think that has more to do with him getting older. He misses his dad very much. I’ve wondered for some time if we should have him talking to a counselor and recent events have pushed us to do just that.

I called up a place that was recommended to us and we had our first appointment last week. It was just a preliminary meeting where we laid it all out and decided on a plan of action. The lady we talked to was great. She mainly works with children and Noah really liked her…or the cool toys she had in her office..or both. :o) She seemed to know what she was talking about and was very encouraging of us. We will see her on a weekly basis for a while and she will help us to understand Noah better as well as how to parent him better. We all need better skills in this situation, including Noah. She said one thing that I loved (and I am paraphrasing here); thoughts lead to feelings, lead to actions. I can see that Noah is hurting and he won’t talk to me. When Jason or I try to talk to him, it doesn’t penetrate and we just keep going round and round.

I know that when Noah is older he will want to go live with his father and until then I am doing my best to equip him to lead a better life than either of us can imagine. Part of that is learning to give control of his life over to God. This is very difficult! Mother knows best, right? Hmm, maybe not. In my opinion, counseling -even if only for a short period of time- can be so very beneficial. An outside party, unbiased, is able to influence us and teach us to look at things differently in order for us to grow and change for the better. I hope that is true for our family and I hope we see real change in the next few months.