e celebrated Nora’s 4th birthday today. She is growing so quickly! She really wanted a “princess party” and absolutely loves pink, so we had pink balloons and Disney princess decorations everywhere and a few friends and family over to celebrate. She loved it. :o) Here is the big moment captured for your viewing pleasure.
*Disclaimer*
For those of you who are friends or family of mine that lovingly check my blog on occasion to see what’s up in the Carpenter-Greb household please be advised that this post is not for you. Please check back at another time for an update on said household.
This is to all the Haters; those of you who stalk my blog hoping to find my unhappiness or to report back to my idiot ex-husband about how I am bashing him.
In case you are remiss as to the purpose of a blog or it’s definition, I have provided it here for you courtesy of dictionary.com:
Main Entry: blog
Part of Speech: n
Definition: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called Weblog, Web log
Example: Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author.
Etymology: shortened form of Weblog
Usage: blog, blogged, blogging v, blogger nIt is here at my personal blog, that you will find my personal thoughts. (Who would’a thunk it??) I normally do not share these personal thoughts with my children, so feel safe knowing that I do not “bash” my ex-husband to my children. I am, however, honest with them when the situation calls for it, keeping in mind that they are impressionable young children and “bashing” their father would only hurt mine and my children’s relationship and of course they themselves.
SO, please find another way to occupy your time rather than stalking my blog. Really? I didn’t think it was that interesting… Especially since I don’t talk about Patrick much unless he is messing with my life or my children, which would be under the heading of “online diary”. Believe me, the less I have to think about him, the happier I am. :o)
adly, I have no one to talk to about this. I went to my midwife appt this morning. It is my second appt there, besides the orientation. I’m having doubts. The whole “natural childbirth” thing is great. I believe in what they say about it, I have heard birth stories supporting these theories and the horror stories about 50% c-section rates at hospitals nowadays. I feel well informed.
I fainted the other day, which is pretty normal for me, and the midwife “on-call” didn’t get back to us. When Jason called her for the 4th time a couple of hours later she acted perturbed for being disturbed. What if I was dying?? I had her today for my appt and I didn’t like her (surprise, surprise). Most of the ladies I’ve met (besides the student) are very stern. Administratively, they make mistakes left and right. Now, I know that administration has nothing to do with birthing babies, but it doesn’t help me to trust them very well. I’m having doubts. Maybe I LIKE doctors. Maybe I WANT drugs. Hmm? Isn’t that MY prerogative since I’m the one having to push this baby out!? :o(
People I have talked to rave about their experience at Labor of Love, but I’m not sure it is right for me. I thought that I would feel good or somehow “right” during my visits, but it doesn’t. I’m uncomfortable. Sigh. I want the best of both worlds and I’m not going to get it. I’m freaking out a little. Jason isn’t helping because I got him all hyped up about a natural childbirth and now I’m betraying him for possibly changing my mind. I feel crazy. Pregnancy makes you crazy. I’m going to school now…
uch as I wish it were different, Noah doesn’t especially love school. He likes certain parts about school, like lunch and friends, but mostly it gets in the way of his “play-time”. I knew going into first grade that it was more serious than kindergarten; homework being the major difference. They gave the kids time to settle in the first week and then today Noah came home with a new folder labeled homework. I thought maybe a sheet for the week of words or basic math, but not both. Well, we get both. There is a daily list of homework and it is all due Friday. Now, I am all about homework. I have lived and breathed it for the past two years, but homework is a new concept to Noah. Big kids get Homework! He has been pretending to do homework since Pre-K and now it is actually here.
We sat down to read the pile of papers sent home and it really wasn’t that bad. Today he had to read a short story and answer a couple of questions about it. He has spelling words (and tests on Fridays) that he needs to learn how to spell as well as new vocabulary words. I’m loving it! He is in awe. “Mom, I have HOMEWORK!” I know this won’t last, the newness will wear off and there will be homework fights in our future, but for now, we are diggin’ it.
We have a no games until the weekend rule at our house and only if your room is clean stipulation. We’ve been playing the Wii and then the PS3 almost daily since they got home. This transition is a bit difficult. It’s amazing how “bored” he says he is without the video games to suck him in! Boredom is good, find something to do. After a few chores I thought it would be nice to try out his bike again, especially because the temp has been low 90’s lately. He was all for it! We get out to the road and I notice that he’s grown a couple of inches and is a little more coordinated than he was at the beginning of the summer. He has had his bike now for about 4 years and the training wheels are off. After a few tries he was completely on his own and riding farther than he ever has down our dead end street. I was happy to walk and clap and smile and encourage. I’m so proud of him; not because he’s officially a bike rider, but because he didn’t give up. There have been tantrums in the past and cries to put the training wheels back on, but this time he just kept practicing. By the time we made it back to the house he was confident enough to correct himself if he started to sway and even wanted to risk the rocks in the driveway. What a good day. :o)
ark and rainy. That’s how the past few days have been. It’s 10:30am and I need the lamp on in order to write this.
Noah started 1st grade on Monday. I was so worried because he really did not enjoy Kindergarten and was nervous about going back, but he loves it! I’m hoping he continues to love it. The teacher (I am finding) makes the difference. Nora is now in VPK learning her letters. She is in Ms. Wanda’s class with the big kids. I can’t believe that next year they will both be riding the bus to school in the morning. Just imagining it freaks me out a little. Nora is serious about her studies and I can tell that education is clearly becoming a value in our home.
I started school on Tuesday. What I was most worried about was eating! They don’t have a cafeteria type thing at Plant City, so I had to bring my lunch and snacks. I started at 1pm and was distracted by 2pm with thoughts of my Nekot crackers sitting in my backpack. By 2:30pm I had eaten almost all of the food (quite a lot) I had brought with me. I have classes until 9pm! I had to go home and eat and grab some change for the vending machines in order to make it through.
Up first was Public Speaking. I have already taken a one credit speech class, so I have a bit of an advantage, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less nervous. I thought we’d have 2 minutes to introduce ourselves, but instead we were given two topics to choose from; summer and friend. Yes, we had to give a speech on the first day. I chose summer and spoke about how fabulous (puking is the best!) my summer was, thus killing two birds with one stone; yes I’m pregnant and fulfilling the acceptable speech requirement for the day. I have to say, I think I did pretty good. The teacher is amazing, she is extremely positive and encouraging, I wish I had had her for english II.
Next was Nutrition and Drugs, my non-science-major science class. This teacher is a little different. Still a nice teacher, but a little strange. He is from New York with a thick accent (“fahget aboudit”) and calls dumb kids Mcfly, a reference to Back to the Future. I’m sure I’ll learn a lot and I get to do a 1500 word research paper on any topic I choose within Nutrition and Drugs. I’m going to do mine on thyroid dysfunction. Exciting right? lol We have lab right after lecture on Tuesday evenings, but I didn’t get to do my Twilight reference with the microscopes since it was just a safety briefing. “prophase”. lol Maybe next week.
I plan to do some Math today. It’s an online class, but I’m so hoping it won’t be as bad as the other online classes I have taken. The teacher seems to be really nice. Can you tell that I like nice teachers? I write the nasty bitches mean emails and I just don’t think I have the energy this semester. One skill I’ll have to cultivate is quick naps in my car on the break I have between classes or covert naps in the library perhaps?
I’m excited, I’m exhausted, I’m starving. That about sums up what this semester will probably be like. :o)
This past week has been…er…different. I wasn’t expecting much, the highlight being Thursday evening’s orientation at Noah’s school.
The first part of the week has been spent in deep thought and reflection as to what our church life should look like as opposed to what it currently entails and on Wednesday I had a lovely little fainting spell.
By now it is almost comical to my friends (but not my mother) that I would fall out during a pregnancy since I went to the hospital numerous times with Noah. I think people presume it is something I did or didn’t do right that causes these spells (meaning its my fault), but I think it is just circumstantial. I thought I would be feeling better or at least starting to, but no such luck yet.
We went this morning to drop off the VPK certificate to Nora’s school. She hasn’t been there all summer and it seems everybody missed her! I was a little amazed at the hugs and squeals from both teachers and students alike. Some of the teachers new about my “condition” and it’s funny how different generations react to news of pregnancy. The older women “know” things and say, “yeah, that’s how it usually goes”, no matter what I’m talking about. They asked what we wanted and I said Jason wants a boy and I want a girl and I got that same reaction.
This evening was Noah’s orientation and he will be in 1st grade. Kindergarten was strange to think about, but now it’s serious. I really like his teacher this year (not so much for K) and I think he will do well. He behaves much better for grandmotherly women who are a bit older and more experienced with mischievous little boys. He will have reading and spelling tests this year and actual homework that needs to be completed on time rather than the optional suggested activities for Kindergarten. Nora is so ready for school. She told me last night that she wants to learn to read. I’m glad to hear that and I hope that VPK doesn’t dampen her spirit. She will turn five on September first of next year, so she will still be four when she starts Kindergarten, but I think she will be ready.
Life has been very stable these past few years and it seems that some changes are coming around. I’ve decided that it is my job as Jason’s wife to make his life “uncomfortable”, every now and then, in the healthiest sense of the word of course. ;o) In my experience it enriches life to step out of our comfort zones and take risks when appropriate because then you give yourself the opportunity to see God at work. Looking forward to it!
ost likely it has to do with the fact that a monster inside me takes over when I’m hungry or the fact that children are manipulative sociopaths for most of the day with expressions of love reserved for when I’ve given them something they wanted (whether it is deserved or not). I also think that children at a certain age need more to do than simple activities to keep them occupied or entertained. These are the reasons that I do not especially love staying home with my children. I can do it. I’m perfectly capable of filling a day with projects and cleaning and outings and what not, taking the little nuggets of knowledge I learn along the way all the while my brain is screaming “feed me!”. I don’t think a good nonfiction book once in a while will cut it. I still need and want to be in school. Things might possibly change when the kids go back to school in a couple of weeks and when the baby arrives in February all those great mommy hormones will take over and I’ll be blinded by lack of sleep and loving the little one, but eventually, I know, I will want to be back in school learning and once that is complete applying that knowledge.
I appreciate those moms who find such blessing in staying home everyday with their children. I appreciate those moms reading Radical Homemakers and yearning to live on a farm and work the land all day long. I plan to live vicariously through those moms because I KNOW that ain’t the plan for me and my life. I think I get to have my cake and eat it too, because I have a husband who will bust his butt to allow me to stay home for a short while and supports my growth at school as well. I only hope I am returning the favor.
These days both sexes have a lot of choices that they didn’t have 50 or 60 years ago. I don’t think any one choice is the right choice. I think what works best in the home is what works best for the entire family. Not any one person’s “job” is more important than the other.
Right now my job is to grow a baby, take care of the kids and try to do as much as I can at home (which, sadly, isn’t very much and varies daily). It has been a rainy week, so I decided to take the kids to Funtasia this afternoon. They absolutely loved it. I looked around at the plethora of moms and kids and remembered what it was like to bring Noah here when he was just walking. Nora will turn 4 years old in about a month, so the memories of holding and caring for an infant or even a toddler are very fuzzy. It was nice to see all these little babies at various stages and try to remember what it was like. I know I enjoyed it very much staying home with my babies. It was very hard to go back to work too soon after they were born. I’m grateful that Jason and I agree about raising the kids and that most likely I’ll get to stay home for a while with the baby. I guess that’s all I can take away from these seasons; gratefulness for our time together and our time apart.
ust the thought of going into the grocery store makes me want to curl into the fetal position and whimper like a puppy. The thought of having Jason go and come back with God knows what urges me onward to Publix at least twice a week, kids in tow, cause it’s Summer!
Before I was pregnant, the choices I made at the grocery store were informed and healthy. I frequented the organic section as much as possible and made sure to choose items with the best standards of food labels. Now, if I think I might eat it, it goes in the cart. I eat chocolate chip eggos, pizza rolls, cookies, and today I put jello snacks in my cart at the urging of my 6-year-old. I am defenseless against his “oooh, I really like ______ let’s get it!” Jason is ecstatic because he’s been eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Reeses Puffs for the last few weeks; items that would have normally been banned from the house. I’m just happy to make it through the store without fainting or puking. I still manage to make somewhat healthy dinners, but on nights I can’t Jason makes Hamburger Helper and when it comes to snacks, almost anything goes. :oP
I told Noah today that once I’m feeling better, it’s back to healthy foods, but I’m not so sure. Today we snacked on a jar of olives. yes, the entire (albeit small) jar. I know I need to take in more calories and I feel like I’m eating more…junk, but it’s this ravenous need to feed the monster that is new. I hope that means that I am creeping towards that glorious second trimester of sunshine, lolipops and rainbows.
I’ll be 12 weeks on Monday for those of you wanting to keep count. I’ve gotten three different due dates now, but you can almost count on this kid coming the week of February 20th. I would really like a girl, but a few things that have happened have me thinking it might be a boy. I was thinking Henry until Noah told me not to name it after a chicken (hen-ry). Everyone is a little more excited now that we’ve been to the midwife. I personally can’t wait for the Ultrasound. Turtle or hamburger, what will it be? :o)
e had our first midwife appt today. I was really looking forward to it mostly because I knew we might get to hear the baby’s heartbeat.
We (Jason, Noah, Nora and I) got there a half hour early to fill out the mound of paperwork before my actual appt. I first talked to Charlie (the midwife assistant) with her nose and lip ring and cute tattoos who was very nice and comical as she explained the procedure of peeing in a cup for each visit, testing my urine and then weighing myself. She then proceeded to steal 4 vials of blood. After that I met Amanda and Char-Lyn the student midwife and the owner of Labor of Love. I really liked Amanda. She is easy going and pleasant. The owner is very knowledgeable, but stern in a motherly way.
The kids were good, waiting somewhat patiently, and the last thing we did was search for the heartbeat. Even though I have been through this process twice before it is always a bit awkward climbing on the table and lifting up my shirt. We could immediately hear my slow methodical heartbeat, but finding the baby’s was a bit of a challenge. There was a chance we wouldn’t find it at all this visit, but we patiently waited while they slid the Doppler and cold jelly all over the lower part of my belly (so cold!).
Finally, we heard a quiet, yet quick rhythm that was most certainly not my own heartbeat. It was slower than I was expecting, only about 130 bpm or so, but it swelled my heart to finally have confirmation of the life growing inside me. I looked to Jason to see his reaction which, as usual and so like him, was quiet and contemplative to say the least. I’m sure the heartbeat will be louder and stronger in 4 weeks at our next visit.
And so it begins! :o)
retty much the only time I have actual energy is in the mornings/early afternoons. From about 3-4pm on I just want to lay there moaning and groaning. It took about a week of the kids being home to figure this out, so I try to plan to do something with the kids outside early in the day, so we aren’t stuck in the house all day. Although, we do stay in some days too. We do lots of coloring, painting and Play-doh on those days.
I had planned to take multiple trips to the many parks in Lakeland never getting sick of a specific one. We’ve been to three so far; Common Ground, Peterson and today we brought Nora’s bike and Noah’s scooter to Dobbins Park. Before that, we got a few school supplies at Target and some bread for… you guessed it! Feeding the ducks! Okay, so maybe you didn’t guess, but that’s what we did. :o) We went to good ol’ Lake Morton and fed the critters. We haven’t done that in a long time.
We had such a variety of birds come looking for a handout! I tried to explain to the kids that bread for birds was like cookies for us.
There was a beautiful Snowy Egret:
He was very gentle and polite, not like the Ibis that crowded around. This one in particular only had one foot! Freaked me out a little, but he seemed to do fine.
We found a nice spot with a bench and some shade and let the birds come to us. Noah came back to Florida complaining about how much he hated it and how Colorado was soo much better (I wonder where he got that from). I really like Florida. It took me a long time to learn to appreciate it. Yes it is hot most of the year, but we do get somewhat of a winter and it is oh so much sweeter because we have to wait for it that much longer. I especially love downtown. We get a small slice of city life while also being able to enjoy living out in the boonies. Our favorite part is jumping in the pool on a hot day. :o)
