Life and Loves

Separating from Patrick and getting divorced was difficult financially. I was blessed enough to have a $10 and hour job and help from the state. I had very few choices. I HAD to work, therefore I HAD to put the kids in daycare. I HAD to make more money for the future of my family, so I HAD to go to school. Life was very simple. I HAD to stay home most of the time because I did not have a vehicle, so it made taking care of the house much easier. I did a lot of things because these things needed to be done and I was the only one doing them.

Life changed and got more complicated. We live with Jason now, operating as a family. I still work and I still go to school, but I can now (and sometimes must) take night classes. There is someone else responsible for keeping the house clean besides myself. My job has changed. I have a very flexible schedule at work, but am responsible for more in job duties and feel more responsible in the fact that it is now a family business and both Jason and I’s livelihood. Also, Noah started Kindergarten.

I guess the HAVE to is decreasing. I don’t HAVE to work so much and I don’t HAVE to take as many classes. Jason takes very good care of us. I need to work to pay my bills and I want my degree sooner rather than later (plus I still receive the Pell Grant and won’t forever). I am struggling a little bit with choosing my course load. I wanted to be done earlier than the projected 2013 and have tried to take on more and more classes each semester. I am finding that it takes away from every other aspect of my home life for me to take on so much. It is a sacrifice I am willing to make if I have to, but I don’t necessarily HAVE to. Noah stays after school in Kidcare until I can pick him up after work, which is usually after 5pm. We get home cook dinner, bath, bed. Every night. There isn’t a whole lot of time together. Weekends are spent finishing up homework not because I put it off, but because it takes most every night and all weekend to get it done. That doesn’t leave much time for housework or quality time with the family. Thankfully I can do laundry sporadically and Jason takes care of the dishes every night!

I could take Noah out of Kidcare and pick him up at 3pm every day after school. It would cut my hours back and would mean that I would be the only one able to pick him up after school. Jason would not be able guarantee that he would be done working that early and it is not in his best interest to quit working that early anyway. My reasoning is that Noah is super tired after school and emotionally drained from such a long day. I also want to be more available to him. He is getting older and if I am going to be of any influence it won’t be during the dinner, bath, bed routine. Even as I write that I know it sounds ridiculous. I know that he knows I love him and I am available to him if he needs me. If I worked for another company I would be working 8-5 and there would not even be an option of picking Noah up early. I wonder if it is just the classic case of trying to be a mom and a wife and have a career? Trying to balance it all? It annoys me that all Jason needs to think about and prioritize is his business and himself. He doesn’t see anything wrong with the kids being in daycare all day long. Nora, of course, is fine and will be fine. She’s happy if you just hug her lots and read her a story or ten. Something happens, though, as they get older. A hug isn’t enough. Perhaps things are just adjusting? Something I will continue to roll around in my mind…

Well, the busyness continues! This whole weekend was not spent at home. We even got a date night Sat night thanks to grandma. :-)

I would like to say that Bobby decided this week to leave ElectroNerdz, Inc. He relinquished his shares to Jason and after the “brain dump” session of all of his knowledge being thoroughly recorded he is no longer with the company. So far things are amicable and if he is needed he will make time to help us out. Otherwise, he has moved on.

We spent most of Saturday cleaning and organizing the Tech area at the office. We reacquired a workbench and quickly put it to good use. We put up and took down a few things from the walls as we are in the process of getting some neat art work and the walls are now waiting patiently. It feels good to get things “just so”. Jason has some goals for the next few weeks that he is trying to obtain and I am very excited for him.

The last few months have been ripe with knowledge and growth for Bobby and Jason (me too, but I don’t count). They have been trying to wrestle with their vision for the company and equally related the dreams for their personal lives. I hear a lot from Bobby about what he wants in both areas. Jason, however, was still processing. Finally, on our date last night I got to listen to what Jason and only Jason wants for his company. It is very different from what Bobby had envisioned. The picture he painted for me is very much like Jason. It is simple and comforting. It will be a place that the employees want to come to work and customers will be taken care of in every aspect. I know with Jason’s commitment that this dream for his company will come to fruition. He is always positive and from what we have seen with the Kia- *eyes rolling* persistent. I respect and admire him more for what he would like to create and what it will mean for us as a family. I am excited to accompany him on this journey. I was excited to hear that he has a place in mind for me, besides the President’s wife. ;-)

This weekend was spent in closure of one door and opening another. There is now more work to do (Bobby was a level 2-3 tech and took care of a lot of things like the data center) for Jason, but also (I think) more enthusiasm.

Since Jason and I were pretty busy this weekend, Nora and Noah relearned how to play well together and the baseboards at the office are pretty clean too! We had the fam (Carrie, Edd, and Grandma) over for a game of Uno tonight and had a really good time. Tomorrow the kids are home and we plan to take them to the park for some well earned kid time! I also plan to teach them the game Twister. Hopefully another fun day will be had by all.

I was driving down the road a few weeks ago and got behind this old wagon. Wood paneling and everything. It’s rare that you see such old relics on the road these days. At a red light I noticed that indeed it was an old couple driving, just like I thought. The older gentlemen, however, was on his cell phone. I thought that to be a little odd and definitely did not go well with the motiff they had going. As I was waiting impatiently for the light to change I also noticed the license plate. It was a bit dirty. but I made out the MR ED 2U on it. I took that to say “married to you”. What do you think?

I enjoy these little cutsie things that people do. Most of you know that Jason’s license plate says ENERDZ for ElectroNerdz. I have also enjoyed seeing the little flip flops on the back windows of some cars. However, I do not enjoy the people. You know what I mean, the little people that show the mom and dad and kids and pets. I have seen a lot of sticker people with Mickey Mouse ears on. They have their little heads cocked to the side which make me think of the wooden people who sing to Shrek and Donkey when they first get to Duloc in the first Shrek.

I also see a lot of deer head stickers, which I think means, “Hey you, I hunt”. It is usually just one main large stickeron the back of a huge macho truck, but I saw one vehicle with about a 4 inch deer head sticker in white, another in pink and then a smaller deer head sticker in white. It took me a minute to realize that they were emulating the people stickers. Now that I enjoyed seeing. I drive a lot, can you tell??

Anyway, its funny how we tend to represent ourselves. Almost as if we are all advertising our personalities. Without thinking we identify with certain colors and shapes. I recently read (by audio cd) the book entitled E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber. He talked about a lot of very interesting things, but one of the things he mentioned was the color blue. Specifically IBM blue and the power of a blue suit in sales. He also mentioned the color orange and how it seems to have the opposite effect.

On our way to Home Depot today I mentioned to Jason how differently this theory is played out in the case of Home Depot and Lowe’s. Noah asked us which Home Depot we were going to go to, the orange one or the blue one? We go to Home Depot more often than we do Lowe’s. Even though Lowe’s is blue. I even LIKE Lowe’s better because they are a cleaner store and more friendly, but we still choose Lowe’s over Home Depot more often than not.

I think it is the way we identify with tools and construction, which is the trade that both Lowe’s and Home Depot are in. It’s almost as if I trust Home Depot more because they are a bit dirty. We are in the middle of trying to brand ElectroNerdz. Coincidentally the color that Bobby likes is blue and the color Jason likes is orange. It doesn’t really matter which colors they like though, it matters what colors the customers like. It matters what we are trying to inspire in the customers when they see our “brand”. So it isn’t as simple as picking a color or shape. I wish it was! :-)

This is Jason putting up our new sign. He didn’t want help. Sadly, we (Amber, Ryan, Noah, Nora, Grandma and I) played with the Nerf guns instead.

We have a sign on the door people! Welcome to ElectroNerdz! Now maybe strangers will stop coming in and wondering where Point Engineering went.