Life and Loves

hen life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Have you heard that saying lately? Our generation (I am making a huge generalization at this point) seems to hear, “when life gives you lemons; move to another state, or quit your job or divorce your spouse, or [insert traumatic life change here]“. Rarely do I hear of people who are toughing it out. Meaning, rarely do I hear of or see people of my generation sticking to anything past the point of being uncomfortable. Myself being one of these people.

My husband chooses to tough it out, which does not make him better or right, just an example of making different choices. Life is difficult for us right now and has been for a while. It isn’t what we hoped or planned for and a lot of it was/is out of our control. A couple of years ago, after moving plenty of times and choosing my own traumatic life change I was still for a long time. I learned to love my home state of Florida, even with its horrifically hot summers, zero inches of snowfall, and touristic type atmosphere year round. I enjoy many different pockets of this city and all that it offers and I appreciate even the rednecks and ignorant people who populate the city. I’ve learned the truth of another saying, everywhere you go, there you are. That doesn’t mean that the possibility of blowing this popsicle stand doesn’t appeal to me, it certainly does, but I think that feeling is usually an indication of discontentment in myself or the need to take a quick trip out of state. If it is discontentment, then it is something I need to work on and moving will not quench the yearning, but instead might possibly fan the flames. I know this from experience.

I have watched my husband be dealt a life altering blow this past year and instead of giving up, he dug in his heals and he’s been working at it ever since. The other shoe has fallen a dozen times over and he continues to do what he can to make things right and still put food on the table. Instead of making a quick decision to cut and run, he has maintained what he can taking things slow and enduring this stressful season of life. As a result he has seen change and improvement in his business and himself. That’s not to say he can maintain this level of stress forever, but his innate sense of calm and his calculated decision process is what maintains the stability of our family, something that I feel our generation has lost.

He is not perfect and because I am impulsive and impatient he sometimes drives me crazy with his need to research every possible scenario to make the most informed decision, but I also admire this attribute and think that perhaps I am rubbing off on him (just a little). :oD

We are slowly enduring the decision making process in choosing which direction to take which doesn’t involve moving to another state or making too major of a life change, but the choice will still effect our family. That doesn’t mean that making these big traumatic changes are always bad choices, or always good choices for that matter, but they should not be made on the spur of the moment or with the grass is always greener on the other side mentality, or so my husband has taught me.

nitting may not be one of your favorite pastimes, but it is quickly becoming one of mine. :o) It has grown from a neglected hobby to an art that I must learn everything about. That proves very difficult when there is only 2 knitting stores here and the nearest knitting store is 30 miles away and only open 9a-2p. The other is a bit farther, but open normal hours and it is the one I frequent when in need of what I’ll call “premium” products. Otherwise I will stop into Joann’s if I am desperate for a more popular item.

I started on a hat for Jason that I am realllly excited about. He’s not so sure, but I think he will like it once it is done. It is knitted on size 6 needles for almost 19 inches and then decreased! I had bought some wonderful gray (more for me to learn here) yarn at least a year ago and finally found the project for it. In my opinion, you have to LOVE the yarn to stick to the project. I am also learning that loving the needles is important too. I ran out to Joann’s to get a size 6 circular needle 16 inches (long? around? circumference?) , but they only had double-pointed needles (dpn’s) in that size. I want to learn to knit well on dpn’s anyway, so I went ahead, got the needles, and started the hat. After three tries (I so think that is the magic number for a new project) I finally got it going and was doing well with the pattern and the dpn’s. The quality of the needles made it a little frustrating though, and a bit of work to bust out the project with only a short time to work on it, so it began to sit in my project bag for long periods. At that point I knew that I needed to splurge on circulars, so Noah and I headed out to Tampa one afternoon this week to pick some up.

I prefer metal needles. I knit very tightly and am mean to the wooden or bamboo needles. They get scraped up and I have to help the yarn along which irritates me. That is for circular knitting. For straight knitting, I really like the wooden needles. Once I was at the shop, I asked the owner about needles as I was paying for them. I would not consider this shop to be very friendly, but she was much obliged to share her knowledge with me. She may have been the owner.

I simply asked her what the difference was between all of the mediums for needles? What makes one person choose one or the other? Is it preference?? Yes. Yes it is. I have fallen in love with stainless steel, but there is also bamboo, rosewood, ebony, and blends of different types of woods. There are decorative and expensive needles that are very beautiful and (I imagine) a dream to knit with. Needles are an investment, especially here in Florida, where they are not chucked to the nearest thrift store for the novice knitter to find; maybe the aluminum ones, which is what my dpn’s were. As I transferred from the dpn’s to the circular there was an audible sigh of relief. It was so smooth and the yarn began to fly on the needles! I will once again (possibly) pick up the dpn’s to decrease, but that won’t be for a while yet and I happily have become quite comfortable with dpn’s.

This particular store seemed to favor a brand called Lantern Moon. They had a lot of Rosewood and ebony needles for about 3x as much as I spent on the stainless steel.

This has given me a lot to chew on as I finish Jason’s hat. I am looking forward to the knowledge I will gain in NC at their one knitting store in Franklin. I hope they will be as forthcoming as the Tampa store was especially about the Looms they house. :o) Oh and we may go White Water Rafting again, so we’ve got that to look forward to along with spending time with Jason’s family. Can’t wait.

fternoons are now spent in recovery. I work most mornings from 6am-12pm and am exhausted by the time I get out of there. I am almost 30 and I can feel it in my bones. I remember working at Starbucks years ago and being a little tired after work, but not nearly as tired as I am now, physically and emotionally. This is a surprise.

I don’t love it, but they pay me in cash and coffee, so I’ll deal. It beats being broke and sittin’ at home all day twiddlin’ my thumbs in a deep dark depression while the kids are gone. Speaking of which, we are down to two weeks left before they go. Sigh. I told Jason this evening that there had better be a lot of spontaneity ;o), date nights, money (and decisions) made by summer’s end. I’d like to get a lot done in the yard too, but I’ve said that before. Not to mention, we still need to paint the bathrooms.

The days have not been too hot or too rainy, which we have thoroughly enjoyed. I took Noah to the park today after school and I noticed that he was wearing one white sock and one black sock. he says he doesn’t want to run out of one or the other. His logic is sometimes a bit fuzzy to me, but thankfully he completely ignores the squinty-eyed, blinking look I give him . I am amazed at how much older he seems. It feels like it was just a few months ago that he was Nora’s age. They do grow up fast.

The kitten has made its way into the house the majority of the time. You can’t resist his pitiful blue eyes. The kids still call it “the wild cat” even though we’ve named her Rosie. Harley and Meiko tolerate her I think mostly because there is no threat whatsoever from the little half-pint. She will attack your feet ferociously and it merely tickles.

This weekend we will be heading to Nathan (Jason’s Best Man) and Jackie’s wedding in New Port Richey. Jason is a Groomsman and we get to tag along. We’ll be staying overnight because of the long drive and the rehearsal the night before, so it will be like a little mini vacation. Two weekends later we’ll head to NC without the kiddos. It should be fun and beautiful. Yay Summer! “LET IT BEGIN!!”

ight now there is a tiny kitten sleeping on my lap. He gave up exhausted after not being able to find a nippie. ;o)

Right now I’m the good kind of tired after contributing this week to the family finances and also being productive at home.

Right now I’m anticipating the few weeks that the kids will be gone in which Jason and I will take a road trip and I’ll hopefully find time to work my butt off, take a few knit lessons, guitar lessons and not miss my kids too terribly.

Right now the Big Idea is churning around in my head and will hopefully come to fruition by next Summer.

Right now I’m patiently waiting the few minutes until the kids will be in bed and Jason and I can watch The Blindside (Love me some Sandra Bullock).

icking blueberries Saturday morning sounded like fun, so we grabbed Grandma and headed out to Plant City to attend the Keel and Curley 3rd Annual Blueberry Festival. They had three huge slides and bounce houses, overpriced food and lots of blueberries. We had a good time and were ready to go by mid-day with the sun baking us in 90 degree weather.

We picked about a pound and a half and then went to stand in line with 100 of our closest friends (or would be by the time we got to the counter to pay).

The bushes were just large enough to provide shade for the kids while they perused and perfect height for Jason to peer down and spot the ripe ones. I found a few myself. I guess we’re making blueberry pancakes tomorrow morning!

ast evening was my last class of the semester. It was pretty easy; just an oral presentation. I think I have decided to get my A.A. in Mass Communications this Fall and my A.S. in Office Management the following semester. I’m very close to obtaining both of these degrees which will keep my options open for my B.A. and will also give me some credibility when applying for a job in the meantime.

The job situation right now is pretty dismal and my flexibility is limited for work hours, so I decided to talk with Troy, the Store Manager at Starbucks about working for him. I really respect him as a manager and during the course of our conversation felt that coming back to Starbucks would allow me to learn a lot and flex my management muscles.

As I was talking with him about becoming a shift manager and beyond, I got to ask him a few questions and really glean from his experiences thus far. I am looking forward to learning more, but realize this may be a slow process. I was worried that working for Starbucks again would shove me back into a time period and person that I no longer want to be, but during our conversation and from the experience of the classes I’ve taken, I realize that I am different and more importantly, have a better support system. It will be up to me to continue on this journey, but I feel confident that I will shine during this experience, although I still have a lot to learn.

I have also been tossing around a future idea about opening my own business. This wouldn’t happen anytime soon, but I am slowly but surely gathering the information and experience I would need to sustain such an idea. For the past two years I have learned so much about myself, who I am and what I value. The most important fact being- this is my life. What I decide to do with it is up to me. I now have a partner to consider, but ultimately our responsibility is to help each other along the way.

So. This summer will be spent, working, knitting, traveling and missing my kids. Funny, how the summers seem to be lazy for Floridians and crazy-hectic for other states. Bring on the heat!

his morning I met with a Ravelry knitting group at a downtown coffee shop. It was so nice to get out by myself and meet so new ladies. I feel bad leaving Jason and the kids home on a Saturday morning, but it sure does my soul good. I find it hard to sit at home and knit when there is so much else to do!

I also got to talk with them about a newish knitting store that opened in Winter Haven. I haven’t made it out yet, but it seems okay from the pictures online. A bit of the “same-old” knitting store feel to it, though. We also talked about spinning and weaving and different stores in different states. We all agreed that it is nice to have yarn stores here, but they aren’t anything like what NC or Portland has to offer.

I hope to take some knitting classes while the kids are gone this summer. I have yet to take an actual class and look forward to a structured learning environment. It looks like the kids will be leaving June 9. The tickets have officially been bought (or so I am told).

It always makes me a little crazy towards the end of a semester, so I’m trying to keep that in mind as we gear up for summer. Hopefully there is a pool in my future!

astile soap and vinegar. What!?

I mentioned earlier that I was gonna try the “no poo” method and stop shampooing my hair with such harsh chemicals. I ran out of regular shampoo and had a choice. I could use the castile or I could use Jason’s 2-in-1 Pert *gag*. I opted to use the castile. I purchased a mini size to try it out in Lavender. I don’t wash my hair very often, about once every 3 days or so, and I concentrate on cleaning my scalp the most. I have longer hair that gets tangled easily and did I mention I am really tender headed? I went ahead with it anyway.

Castile soap is mild and organic and way in the green for the Skin Deep test. Dr. Bronner’s is all I know of at this point. I have been using it for about two weeks now. My hair is certainly feeling different and kinda freakin’ out. I know it’s clean, but I can’t say I love it. Also, to help with the tangles I have been using apple cider vinegar, which really works, but smells like…err…vinegar. XoP I discovered that Giovanni is a brand that is in the green and at a level I can deal with, so I decided to use their conditioner. I also looked up a recipe for making my own shampoo and tweaked it a bit. It’s mostly water, baking soda and the lavender castile soap. I’m toning it down, knowing that the mixture will do the job. I’m thinking pure castile on my scalp is a little overboard and not to mention expensive, which is counterproductive.

Today, I also used it on my floors. I used vinegar and water with a few drops of castile and it worked beautifully. I feel so good about cleaning the house when I know it isn’t hurting us in any way. What I’m learning about myself through this whole learning process is that I care about my and my family’s body. I care about the earth and taking care of what little I have control over. It’s a hard process to not just go for the easy convenient products that also happen to be cheap, especially when you are on a budget, but I’m learning to make smart choices a little at a time. It helps to have a supportive, yet realistic husband and a friend in the same boat. I have to be able to stand firm in what I believe in to show my Hamburger Helper man that their are better choices we could be making for our bodies and our environment. I’m not too gung-ho just yet, though- baby steps.

It’s hard to start a little at a time because I’m a “go big or go home” kinda girl, but I’m learning that it doesn’t always have to be that way. Some would call me impulsive. ;o) I happen to like that about me. What I’m really into right now is veggies. I’m trying to find fresh local and hopefully organic vegetables without paying an arm and a leg. That’s difficult here in Florida, unless I want to live off of oranges and strawberries. I’ve discovered a farm up on the Northside and I’m trying to weigh which is more important, local or organic? I can get organic produce from Venezuela which was probably nutritious a week ago or produce from the same state with lots of nutrients (and taste), that has used pesticides. I can also grow my own, but I’m just not there yet. As far as meat is concerned, I’m gonna have to buy in bulk and not from the grocery store in order to go organic. For one, because it is too expensive at the grocery store and two because it’s the worst cuts of meat. That decision will come later. What I really need is a working oven! I’m threatening to stop cooking until Jason fixes it. Hey, I could eat Beef’s five nights a week. ;o)

eing home more often is great. It is also a little bit difficult. I get up, go to school, come home and pick up Noah from school. We are home from 3pm on. Now this may not seem like a big deal, but that’s three extra hours. I’m used to picking the kids up at 530pm making dinner and doing the bedtime routine. Now it’s just Noah and I left to our own devices.

Noah actually will entertain himself really well. He loves to explore the woods by our house and pester the chickens. He likes to draw and color and paint. The problem is the dreaded TV. He usually has a snack when he gets home and we’ll automatically turn on the TV for a few minutes. Luckily he goes straight for the history channel; he did not get that from me. One day last week that’s all he did. He watched TV while I was doing homework or blogging or something. ;o) I turned it off and he flipped. This is why we do not watch TV.

It’s not because I’m a crazy mom thinking that TV will rot your brain, it’s because it turns the kids (and myself) into brats. Sluggish, whiny brats. I believe that we are put on this earth to be productive. We should be using our brains to make things or learn things or to maintain our household. When the kids have watched TV, they go through immediate withdrawals. It’s not pretty and it’s very loud. Same with the Wii, which is why Noah only gets to play the Wii on the weekends and we are usually gone for most it. Boundaries. :o)

I struggle myself. I wouldn’t say I’m bored because I have lots to do, but the lure of TV is so strong! There’s all of these fabulous shows about landscaping and renovating! I even like that silly Mtv show 16 and pregnant! lol Today as I was eating lunch at 4pm, I turned it on and got sucked in and had to consciously turn it off. I walked away and started another load of laundry and vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom. I feel so much better. After watching TV, I feel like crap. Tonight I told the kids NO. No TV, no movies, find something else to do. They’ve heard this before, so they only whined a little. It’s the watching and then not watching that provokes them, but if they don’t watch anything, they are so content. Tonight they played outside with bubbles, they played play-doh and with art supplies. It was great.

These are the days I look back on and am glad that I get the opportunity to be home more.

Just realized that I never posted pics of the honeymoon! Will remedy that…now! Enjoy!